Now I have all the brain zaps, irritability and random crying a girl could want.

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I have spent a lot of my time as someone who has depression, avoiding antidepressants. I had lots of friends on them, and the complaints about side effects were many and varied. When I did try them myself I often only gave them a short amount of time before abandoning them as the side effects were many and varied.
My least favourite were the ones that made me feel even madder than I was.
My favourite made me sleep for 12 hours at a time.
Either way, therapy, mindful meditation, good sleep hygiene, avoiding alcohol and exercise have been my preferred…

Here’s something I wrote earlier.

Okay so the urge to write is back but the time and energy for it are not. And yes, part of that is because it isn’t going to be the fun writing, it is going to be the very unfun writing of Synopsis, Bio and Query letters. However, things continue to improve even if life remains a little disorganised and I know I will get there. Writing is what I want to do with my life and giving up isn’t the way to make that happen is it? No, no it is not.

So instead…

The voice in my head is back

I write in my head. I will have thoughts running around my head: story ideas, plot points, articles, or just sentences I want to get down on paper. Of course, sometimes those ideas happen while I am in the middle of something else with no pen or paper or electronic device nearby. Eventually, I will get to some sort of writing device and get those thoughts down. They are with me most days, and I enjoy hearing the voice in my head, the voice of the writer in me.

I haven’t written in my head for months. …

I am feeling a little fragile despite how wonderful my life is.

See, I have a kitten, so all is well.

It has been a few weeks since I have written anything. It was a choice, but it was not one I would have made in an ideal world. I have been missing writing, missing working towards getting the novel I have finished out there. I chose to have a break to prioritise my new job and the learning that went with that. Fair enough, a sensible decision designed to give me the space to adjust and then once I had got the hang I would find a new routine and a new way of fitting my writing into my life…

Or whose emotional baggage is this?

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I have a rule; ‘Don’t date guys whose mother died or left them when they were young.’ The reason I won’t do this is that they often have issues around women leaving them, they are unsure how to relate to a grown arse woman and the have a fear of intimacy and commitment because they fear that you too, will leave them.

Sounds reasonable, right?

I have dated a couple of guys who lost their mother in one way or another when they were young and they displayed these traits and ultimately broke my heart because no matter what I…

The new job is taking up my time and energy.

Last week was all about the training for my new job. And researching an article.
I didn’t even get around to posting last weeks weekly diary yet. Hopefully, I can get to that before I start this morning.
I have three more weeks of training, and I just need to accept that my writing is going to take a backseat while I settle into my new job. The panic comes from worrying that I will stop. That like so many other projects in my life, I will not complete the final leg. …

So life gets in the way sometimes.

The training for my new job is intense. Excellent but tiring.
Today is my writing day. The day I should be researching agents or making changes to my WIP.
But I just want to go and watch The Crown. I was going to watch it last night, but dramas beyond our control kept taking precedence.
Do I let myself off the hook and go and relax or do I at least try and get some writing-related activities done?

How about if I get some decent work done this morning? Can watch TV all afternoon then?
But I can go and have…

I know I said I was finished but…

Agents, agents, agents.

Wow, this is an overwhelming task.
How to find the right agents for me.
How to find agents in Australia.
How to find the right agents for an Urban Fantasy when Urban Fantasy does not get listed as a genre.
How to find the right agents when if Urban Fantasy is mentioned, it is described as not wanted right now.
Then once I do find the agents I like, who are open, who want fantasy, preferably urban, and in the same country…
How to choose the six agents I want to pitch to first.

My first instinct…

I finished it, I finished the draft!

I am so close to finishing this draft now.
It is hard not to get “distracted” and avoid it entirely because it is sort of terrifying.
The other temptation is to rush it and be “done”.

Either way, if I can get this finished, then the next step is writing the synopsis and a query letter.
Then research agents.
Then I guess I send it out to the right agents?
Do I have to?
I don’t want to.
Except I really do.
Except what if it really isn’t good enough?

Perhaps I should finish it before worrying about that.

Nothing inspiring here folks.

Okay, so that week was not a week for writing or editing.
There were dramas and teeth pulling and distractions galore.

I am continuing to edit.
I am having trouble getting started this morning.
I am tired.
I did work-related things all weekend.
I just keep allowing myself to be distracted.
I need to have another coffee.
I need to get on with it.

Once I start working again, I will need every ounce of discipline if I want to keep writing as well.
Or I could just stick to a routine and not get distracted. …

Emma Sachsse

Humorist with serious intentions. Currently editing my urban fantasy, ‘Bloody Dawn’, about a security guard/vampire.

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