Learning to Sleep

I resent you. You who sleep through the night. You aberration of nature. It is not natural to do that. It is unfair of you to just lie there, sleeping. As if sleep is something that just anyone can do. We all have cycles throughout the night where we sleep deeply and then very lightly, waking gently. You do too, you just are not aware. You don’t wake enough to remember those moments. Unlike the rest of us for whom sleep is an elusive sprite that we spend the night chasing. We call to sleep with rituals and routines. Technology is now dedicated to the sleepless. Those droves of us who subscribe to all the YouTube channels promising a guided meditation that will lead to a good night’s sleep or deep sleep. I don’t care what sort it is, just hook me up. I will take five hours, uninterrupted. Can you imagine what 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep would be like? It sounds divine.

Then there are all the sleep apps on our phones; filled with white noise, rainforests, birds, snowstorms, river and wood fires. My phone is full of Stephen Fry. He reads me to sleep in 15-minute increments. Each time I wake during the night I pop him back on. Sometimes it will take two or three attempts, and sometimes I just give up and press play without the time limit. I am always looking for audiobook readers with soothing voices reading stories I already know. David Suchet reading Agatha Christie is on high rotation.