How To Get Naked
Getting comfortable with getting naked makes for a better sex life
You may think from watching TV that it is normal to leave your bra on during sex. It isn’t. Watch closely, when they get out of bed these actresses magically have their panties on too. Penis in vagina intercourse (what is mostly inferred on TV) is generally not as easy with your underwear on unless it’s crotchless.
The reality is that to have sex, you will probably be getting naked in front of someone else (unless your religion is so hardcore it says that complete nakedness will annul your marriage). Men, this means socks off too.
The first time you nude up in front of someone can be confronting, unless you have lived in some kind of media vacuum and managed to get to this point in your life with no body image issues. In which case, congratulations and can you tell the rest of us how to do it? To really enjoy sex, feeling comfortable naked is an asset. Feeling comfortable naked means you get to stop worrying about what the other person thinks of the bits you hate and just enjoy the moment.
We live in a society where we aren’t as comfortable with our naked selves as we could be. Perhaps we can blame the British for that one. Europeans seem much more comfortable nuding up. The Daily Mail in the UK once had a headline that read “Making a Boob of Herself! Amanda Palmer’s breast escapes her bra as she performs on stage at Glastonbury.” As if that is somehow newsworthy. Bugger her performance, her breast was seen and we can make a pun. Her eloquent and amusing reply to that article was to perform a song titled “Dear Daily Mail” in which she disrobes completely. Mind you the Americans are pretty prudish too, think Janet’s wardrobe malfunction and the subsequent real live FCC investigation.
So okay, you’re uncomfortable about being nude. Now what? For starters don’t become an actor, not unless you can get to be really famous really, really quickly. Being comfortable with being nude and being comfortable with who you are, your body, your sexuality and exploring different aspects of yourself and human nature are important to being a well-rounded mature actor who can take on any role, including Equus. Or for me at 18, playing Marvel Anne in Psycho Beach Party. The director, Peter Goers and I compromised and I wore skin coloured G-string and a strategically held feather fan. But then again, I never became a truly great actress either.
I digress. Your nudity, get used to it. Look at yourself in the mirror, stop criticising and try out some flattering, sexy poses and admire your good qualities. If you find this impossible, remember that once someone has you close and naked they’re enjoying the sensations and not critiquing you. If they are critiquing, they’re an idiot and should not get to enjoy your body and the delicious things you can to theirs. Most of us don’t look like film stars once we’re naked. Mind you, neither do they, they have a team of makeup artists, lighting experts and a director all making sure every angle we see is flattering, and once they are really famous they can get a body double (or when they are too young or too pregnant) mostly, they get them for their arses.
Next time you get naked, feel free to ensure that the lighting is flattering (there is a reason firelight and candlelight are so popular/romantic). Perhaps invest in a bedroom lamp that isn’t for reading. Make it dim. Get a lampshade that throws warm, flattering colours onto your skin and arrange yourself in your most flattering naked pose. Once you start getting physical, stop thinking and just enjoy. The more you get naked in front of other people, the more comfortable you will feel about it. The irony being, that as you get older you feel more and more comfortable with your body, but it tends to look worse and worse!
